always gonna mess something up

Doesn't matter what I do or what I say or what I text, its going to run over into something else and be made into something that its not and ruin the night or moment. Seems like that is all I know what to do, make impulsive decisions and say impulsive things which lead to being disturbed. For both of us. Alls i want to do is make this relationship work and  be with Daniel for the rest of my life, and Ayvins life, but if this trust issue isn't resolved soon, that is not going to happen and who knows what WILL happen. Scary. Until I'm able to productively have that thought in my head, it should stay away. I'm not stable at the moment. Or shall I ever be?